previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
you see Leonan in a back corner the package that I gave it's being sold to
someone who I believe is in the Cult of the Dragon which goes along with
something that I've had a suspicion of of Solax for quite a while is that he
is working with the Cult of the Dragon got any ideas of how we can get
these guys alone I think they've got a meeting with the council later today
so let's go kill those people. Sure sounds that way. Sounds like we probably should.
I walk out from behind the building I focus my energy on a point between them
and call forth a rain of lightning. Solax is struck down by glory jam
ogres crush he is paralyzed I tie him up hand and foot handily as you
are tying him up you hear very heavy military cadence of feet
marching down the street and you hear someone at the front call out stop what
you're doing in the name of the axe of Mirabar it's only been a month we'll be
fine we'll be fine how do we start this thing again just like that I
think yeah don't we usually roll to see I don't think that's fair I think
you should I'm not gonna say what happened I also I'm not gonna say
what happened my notes are on the iPad that the child is using it's gonna be
good. Oh Russ is gonna have to edit this so hard. If someone can tell me who
Solax is I can tell you what happened last time but I wrote down Solax as
if I knew who that was and he was important I don't know who he was. I want
to say Solax was the the number two guy to the to the main guy that was
Oh he's the Colonel Colonel Moranless Solax or something that sounds
phonetically somewhat like that Russ. Yeah very close very close okay so yeah
that's that's the start and this is Dumbgeons and Dragons and they it's a
I don't even remember what it is it's a fifth edition D&D actual play
podcast I'm your dungeon master Russ More and here with me on this
wonderful journey are your adventurers Carla Johnson. Yes feeling a little
concerned if the DM doesn't know how to play anymore. Tom Laird. Also a little
trepidatious. And Amy More. Is trepidatious a word? You damn right it
is. Yeah. So-called English teacher. Yeah that I would have thought you
would have dropped that one Amy not Tom like Tom uses a lot of fancy
words but so do you. Tired man. And I'm also trying to remember how to play the
game so my mind is like trepidatious. Oh yeah no it's not going to go well. That's ridiculous. We would roll a D20
but you guys just kind of together collectively try and figure out what
what happened last time. That's a bad idea Russ. Inside the box there were magical
things. Ah yes the bones. So Glory Jam who was Flint's friend from the
Iron Fist had tried to get us to move that box with the magical stuff in it
then the dragon came and there's all hell broke loose. Yeah. Then the
Colonel sorry the Colonel Maramris Solax was like actually Glory Jam I
told you to take that and says something mean to Flint I think. I
think I said something mean to him to be perfectly honest with you. Yeah I
think you guys had like a bit of a a bit of a thing. Then we went back to that
blacksmith shop and got some cool stuff or asked for some very strong light
armor. Thea asked for that. Right for me. Then we all had a nap. The nap was
good. Yep we're all very relaxed and then we met Glory Jam at the
something something Panda Hut. He tells us that he thinks the Colonel
Solax is working with the cult. He has a wizard Elhand Silverkin that has been
hanging about and he Glory Jam wants us to help him and his friends get
away from Solax. They have some folks that are going to fight with us. There
are others who are going to fight against us we suspect. We wait to go
jump them on their way to the meeting. They're going to meet I think with like
the elders of the town. Yeah and Glory Jam told us that they were going to
like cast a spell on them to get them to like agree to attack someone else. I
can't remember. Yes there was something about that we were something terrible
is going to happen in that meeting. So we wanted to stop it. We were
waiting. Thea called some lightning and snuck attack them and we and we
fought them and then we're tying up Ogre Crush. I don't know who that is. One
of the other bad guys I guess and then the Mirabar army says stop and they
surround us and that's where we ended. You guys should take a month
off more often. That's probably the most detailed. Thanks for pulling all
the weight there. Yeah you did good. Well I think you guys had to do it
last time so. I did and it was I struggled. So that's where we are. I
would say normally fortunately about to dive into the action but I feel
like unfortunately about the dive into the action because. I'm looking at my
hit points and it's not looking good. Oh God I didn't even look at that. Am I hurt
already? Oh I am hurt already but not bad. Are you hurt badly? I'm hurt
like I'm pretty bad you guys. So Soul Axe was killed by Glory Jam. The
wizard was killed. I can't remember who killed him but somebody killed the
wizard and you are in the process of tying up Ogre's Crush which is Soul Axe's
second-in-command. Rickus Ogre's Crush. Rickus Ogre's Crush exactly and now
you are staring down the what appears to be a good percentage of the army
known as the Axe of Mirabar. So there you are surrounded by probably 200 that
you can see 200 dwarven warriors all in full gear and they are telling you to
drop your weapons and put your hands on your head. And I say oh. Mask your
wounds. Or just take a potion or something unless Tom's hurt because I'm
I'm not hurt too badly. No I'm pretty good. I don't even have a
potion. I slip you a potion. Can you work on that and I say to whoever appears to
be in charge oh thank God you're here. One of the warriors steps forward
with a large axe in hand and says drop your weapons you are going to come
with us. As I as I raise my hands in the air like I just don't care I do
like a little wrist flick and say I don't want to die. And as she was
doing that I slowly put my weapon down so they were focusing on me. Okay I'm glad
we're we're all on the same page I I say we put our weapons down we can't
fight. Oh yeah hundred percent. Okay for sure. Yeah. You guys can cure 3d8.
No you you roll for it. Oh okay. So you pick six creatures in a 30-foot
radius. I'll just pick the three of us. Leon and Glorygem is also with
you. Okay he can also be healed I will heal him as well. You drop your weapons
and you are approached each by two warriors and you are shackled and they
walk you towards we'll call it the down hall but that thing. That council
of sparkling stones. Exactly but you are taken to the brig area the jail
area in this building and you four are put into one cell and ogres crush
is put into another cell. There are six cells three of them are empty. There's
one directly across from the cell that you are in where there is one dwarf
male who looks like he's pretty beaten up and looks like he is sleeping in the
cell. The bulk of the guards who bring you in there leave the room. There are
two standing watch at the door inside the prison area where you are. Well shit.
Now we've done it. Are these metal bars like standard-looking fantasy jail?
Yes exactly standard fantasy jail they are yeah iron bars all have a single
lock on them. The door and the front wall area is all iron bars. The other
three walls is like stone masonry. Okay. Flynn can you like charm these people
somehow or find out what they're gonna do with us or because you have you're a
real smooth dwarf talker right? I do have that fancy fancy belt that helps
me talk to the dwarfs. I want that other dwarf to wake up so we can
let's see what he's all about but I guess that's probably not gonna happen. I
see a rock on the floor and I throw it into the other cell and hit
the door. Perfect. Wakey wakey. He stirs a little bit and kind of looks up and
then rolls back over. No no hey hey what's up what's up? He says you're
down here now you're probably gonna be dead. Let's not talk about it. I'm
sorry what? Come again? Sounds like the kind of thing we probably should
talk about. He he looks down the hall and he says we shouldn't talk
about it right now. Well if we're gonna be dead soon we're not gonna be able to
talk about it later. It's a good point. That's probably true that's probably true. He says okay. Okay you got me. You did make a good point.
I have to be asked three times. He says if you get us out of these cells I will
tell you what's going on but right now we're we're under a little watch a
little there's looky-loos and people listening in. I don't feel comfortable
telling you what's going on because I don't know you. I don't know what you're
about. I don't know if we feel comfortable helping break you out. We
don't know you. You're in jail. You're some kind of criminal. Carla where's
your character voice? Why what does it sound like? We finally got to
character voices and we didn't play for a month. I just remember I was an asshole. A little bit
indignant. A little like I think lower like you were very brash. Okay okay does
that mean I need to take that again or I'll just start from now on? I think
from here on out. How about from now on? From now on it's fine. Yeah. Let's rewind right back to the very beginning. He says that's fair
That's fair. I am Osric Battlehammer. Of course you are. I am or was I guess at
this point a lieutenant in the acts of Mirabar. Wait a minute if you were a
lieutenant why are you in jail? It's a good question. It's a good question.
Really there are some magic-y things going on as I could appropriately
describe them and those guards down there they aren't good anymore. There's
something controlling them and all the other warriors in town by this lovely
lovely elf character who came in and just kind of one day moved in and took
over and is now controlling the bulk of our of our army. Wait do you think
this is the same guy that was messing with Solax? What's the what's
the name of this person? He goes by Primsbane is what what he has been
referred to as before everybody was taken under his control. Now the
concerning matter of this is is large portion of our army is not in the town
but it appears if they come back to town they may be under whatever thrall
is on the warriors he has currently here. How has he not enthralled you?
From what I can kind of tell is something within the standard issue armor that the
Axa Mirabar provides all its warriors has been enchanted by this by this
sorcerer and I was not wearing my armor when this spell went off
apparently. There were a few more of us but they've since been killed by
friends or who were friends. I don't know what they are now or who they are
now. No it's not really good. As you are discussing this the door to the
jail opens and in walk three more warriors from the Axa Mirabar and they
come up to your cell and in unison they ask you who are you and where
do you come from? Why are you guys all talking in unison? They don't seem to
acknowledge your question and they ask you another one and they say who gives
you your aura? What the fuck's wrong with these guys? I don't know man. I
have a feeling like the spell that's cast upon their garb it has
something to do with he controls them almost all at once. Seems that way.
That would make sense. Maybe this asterisk isn't full of it. It would
appear not. What's my aura look like to you? They say we are known as
Tholonius Primsbane and there is a power that's been creeping over the land
and you are some of the first people who have appeared to have direct
contact with this power and I plan on using you to figure out where it comes
from. Everyone else racking their brain about like the power that's coming
over the land. Are we talking about like? Oh, it's DC all the way. Dragon cults.
I abbreviated it to DC. That really threw me off. I was like, wait, like
the comics. Wait, what? Like the shoes? Washington? The shoes. He does seem
very garment focused. It could be the shoes. We glanced down at the
triplets feet and noticed they're all wearing some sweet skateboard
kicks. Oh shit. But yeah, gotta be the dragon cult, right? I think. I don't
know. Russ is always messing with us. I know. We should probably ask. Are you
referring to the dragon cult? The dragon cult does not hold the power
that I am looking for. Well, then I got nothing for you. Is he talking
about the box? Maybe. There's a large power in the box. We came into
contact with it. Some like, you have like a contact magic high? Yeah. But
the Colonel was the one that gave it to Glory Jam. Well, so maybe. What is
this power you speak of? This power has been showing up across the land
for many, many hundreds of years now. Slowly at first, but it's creeping
its way. And I am wanting to control this power. But I have yet to find
the entrance or the beginning point of its source. And how do you think we
can help? It appears to have directly contacted you at some point. I think
we would know if it did. I don't. It appears the further questioning will
be necessary. And the three guards in front of you, three warriors in front
of you, all at the same time, turn face and leave and close the door
behind them. So there are now still two guards, the original two guards in
the room. I whisper to my friends, y'all, we got to get out of here.
Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. But how? So we have no weapons,
except for Thea's magic. I guess I could use them. Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. What about pass without a trace?
No, no, hold on. Hold on though. How are we gonna get the are we just
gonna break the gate down? Yeah, that's the trouble. Well, I think if
we just vanish, then they might be like, what's up and come into the
cell. Ooh, what about that other dwarf though? Oh, I could probably
What if someone pretended to be sick, we just pull like, like, oh, no
guards, please come in. Classic. He's the only one who knows about
the magic that's contacted us. And then when they rush in, we beat
them senseless, take the keys, break the other guy out. Yeah,
Russ, what kind of weapons do the guards have? The guards each
have a battle axe and shield. Well, that doesn't sound like
something I want to fight hand to hand.
I'll use my magic. I just don't think we're gonna be able to bust
down the door. Yes, because we don't have any weapons. Like
we have nothing to get out. We do need the door open. Wait,
Russ, can we see any keys or anything on them? Like is it
an old timey key ring that's like hanging off one dude's
belt? They do have keys on their belt. Yes. Like how
many? It looks like they have a ring of key. There are there
are a few on there, but they each have their own set of
keys. Do you still have that thorn whip or vine whip or
whatever it was? I do. We Indiana Jones those keys or
what? Oh, that's fun. You create a long vine like whip
covered in thorns that lashes out at your command toward a
creature in range. Make a melee spell attack against the
target. If it hits, he gets 1d6 piercing damage. If the
creature is large or smaller, you pull the creature up to
10 feet closer to you. How close are they? Maybe I can
pull him close. Hold him against the bars while somebody
else relieves him of his keys. So you are in the center
cell. This hall is three cells deep, so they are 20 to 30
feet out. Okay, well, I guess we just got to get them to
open the door. Yeah. Hey, idiots. Hey, idiots. I drop
to the ground and start shaking. Hey, hey, come over
here. Oh, no, one of her seizures is happening. One of
them, mechanically or robotically, however you want to
describe his movements, looks over to your cell and begins
marching toward your cell and stands in front of the cell.
The hallway is going to be probably about 20 feet wide,
so about 10 feet from your cell. And at the same time as
the other guard says, I have control over everyone in this
show off. Yeah, I say obviously not as a system of
shaking kind of a braggart. Right. And I I'm going to do
the thorn whip and like through the bars and like
whip, like and pull them. Sure. Make a melee spell
attack. So you have to roll for it. Oh, no, you guys
have to roll for it. Sorry. Usually our first rules are
good, because we usually waste them on initiative. Yes.
Well, no, that was a three. Oh, 30. Wow.
Well, plus your spell attack bonus. Yeah. Okay, it's
still not good. That's an 11. But not good enough.
Never mind. I decide to do hold person instead.
We're not technically there's no order. We're not. We're not
in the middle of a confrontation. Well, no, but
you're you're your first attack would have entered an
encounter. So I would roll for initiative. I'm sorry,
guys. It's all good. I just rolled a five. You did your
best. Things aren't 13. I did 18. Six. Mr. 18 over
here. Right. The guard in front of you pulls his ax.
The guard in front of you pulls his ax and swing. I
assume you guys are still you guys are standing by the by
the bars, because nobody's moved yet. And swings toward
he's going to try to attack us with an ax through metal
bars.
They're fairly spaced. And you guys are all trying to
call idiot over there.
Until I think I'm technically a few feet back if you had
dropped on the ground and started like that. Okay. Well,
he's gonna swing towards me to hang back because I'm a
stupid fighter. We had that conversation the other day
you guys just thought everyone should know.
I didn't call you a stupid fighter.
He swings his ax towards Nulara with disadvantage
because there are bars in the way the nine towards
Nulara I don't think that does not hit the second
guard runs over but it is now Flynn's turn to do
something. And what pray tell am I going to do from the
other side of bars with no weapon? Could you grab like
obviously guard two has run over and is within five feet
of the bars. What about the acts that came through the
bars? There must be have been like a jarring like he must
have hit on a horizontal bar. Can you grab his ax his
ass? Yes. Can you reach there and give him a little
typical Thea?
Oh, yeah, I guess if I was on the ball enough, would I be
able to try and grab the heft of his act? Yeah, you
could do that. We'll say it's sticking through the bars.
And he's in the process of pulling it back through.
Alright, so would that be what a strength check? Yes,
we'll go strength versus his strength. Alright, well, I
try and grab his ax. And that is a 17 plus force of
21. And that's an 18. So you grab and have a little tug of
war with him. But you pull the ax through the bars with
you. And the second guard is in the process of trying to
unlock the cell. And it's new Laura's turn. So I how wide
are the spaces in the bars? Standard? Standard four to
six inches? No. As far as my knowledge of jail cells go.
Yeah, I don't mean in real life. I mean, like in dumb
movies. Standard. Okay. I am going to just try and punch
that guard in the face as hard as I can. Sure. Are the keys
in the thing? But he just hasn't turned them yet? Yes.
Great. I'm gonna punch him real hard. Get ready for this
amazing punch. It wasn't that amazing as a 10 plus strength
I guess. Yeah. Yeah. That's a 14. You're going right to his
face. So yeah, we'll say that hits and then just roll a D
four. Okay. That was a one. You connect with his face and
he gets knocked back a small amount but enough that he
releases his hand from the key. Okay, then Donnie is
going to, I don't know, chomp him. Donnie does better
than I did because Donnie got a 17. Yeah, 17 hits. Okay, so
that is a four damage. And then he needs to do a saving
throw. And that's against being poisoned? That is yes.
Poisoned. Poisoned. I thought it was paralyzed. Well, it
does paralyze them, but it is poison attack. Yeah. Okay.
Nothing happens. Oh, impervious because they're like weird
zombie people. That's really good to know because I was
thinking about using poison spray. That's good. Donnie's
testing it out for you. Thanks Donnie. Just remember the
keys. The keys are in the door now, my friends. The
keys are in the door and it is his turn. Is there a way
that I can like dive forward, reach my hand through and
twist the key lock open and kick the door open as an
action? Yes. Yes, you could do that. Okay. Let's make a
dexterity check just to see just make sure you do it all
good. Okay, because my plan is to like do a super cool
roll forward, reach my hand through and then push the
door kick the door so hard that because they're both
standing like close to the one is in front of the door
the others to the side. Okay, well, I'd like to hit one of
them with the door. Sure. So dexterity.
Was such a good plan though. I know. You put it through
a bar that's too far away. And you just can't quite
reach it. It's the first guard's turn and he swings his
axe down at Thea's arm as she sticks it through. That is a
13. It's not enough. That was stressful. That was very
stressful. Like it's gonna be just like on Adventure Zone.
His axe swings down and clangs off the bars. Flint, your
turn. I guess I should open the door and then get out
there and kick some ass. Oh, no, open the door, then get on
the floor. Okay, then walk the dinosaur. Right, right. Okay.
Yeah. So you call out you idiot on the floor. And our
plan will be foolproof. All right, Russ, how far from the
door? Well, the cells only so not very back. So not
very far. All right. Yeah, I'll go and Jimmy open that door.
And then probably take a swing at one of the two guards if I
can reach. Do you push Thea to the side? Yeah, you can.
Okay. I just step over her like a boss. You can't step
over me. I'm bigger than you. It's like a really awkward
like, it's super I actually take an attack turn to just
jump over you. Walk around me.
Yeah, I guess if the cell is pretty small, I could I could
just walk around her. He tries to walk over me and be like
trying to like, like, like, I'm all on all fours. And he's
like, yeah, we totally keystone cops this and I triple
time crawl over you. All right. Yeah, so I will walk
around and go open that door. As you you reach through and
you try to turn the key, it sticks a little bit. So just
make a strength check there.
12 and four is 16. It sticks a little bit on your first try,
but you are able to you hear the click of the lock and the
door begins to swing out open. All right. Man, is anyone
nearby me for some axe swinging? Yep, the second
guard that came over is directly in front of the
door. And the second guard is off to your left. All
right, I'm going to take a swing at the guy that
currently has an axe, because that seems like a much better
target to get rid of the guy who doesn't have one. Sure,
sure.
That is a 14 and seven. So 21. 21 will hit him. Yeah,
I'm like staring at my character sheet because I don't
remember any of my bonuses. Yeah, so the axe will give
you Oh, I guess it's a totally different bonus than
isn't it? Yeah, it's not your stuff. Well, your
bonus should be fine and stuff, but just the damage.
Oh, right. Okay, we'll go 1d8. Okay, that is a four. Um,
question for you, Russ. So like the guy that I just swung
at, is he currently like two handing it or one hand? He
currently has two hands on his axe. Okay, and it is a
guard twos turn so the guard without the axe and he goes
to push the door back into you trying to hurt you with
the door there flint. All right, God get an original
idea. He throws his weight against the door. So we'll go
a strength check. That's a 15. So make a strength saving
throw there.
Alright, so that is an 11. But then I get so wait, no,
so I just get my strength proficiency bonus, but not
my like, ah, crap, this is so confusing. It's been so
long since we've done this. You've got the saving
throws box. Yep. So whatever the number is beside your
strength saving throw, that's what you get to add to your
desk. Oh, sweet. Because there's an eight next to that.
So I didn't figure that one through. Well, according to
roll 20 anyway. Yeah, no, that's that seems right.
Awesome. That's what mine is too. Because my strength is
19. So here's this, you're at least as strong as me
because you're a real bruiser, real strong boy. So
you got higher than a 15? Yeah, I got 16. So you he kind of
runs into it. And you are much stronger than him,
apparently. And he kind of bounces off of it and gives
himself a little bit of damage. One damage. Idiot.
One damage to himself. Yeah, awesome. Nulara, your
turn. So the door is open. Now Flint is standing in it.
But yeah, door is open. There would be enough room that you
could probably sneak by if you were looking to get out of
the cell at this moment. Oh, man. But there's still a dude
out there with an axe. There is an axey dude. Yeah. Okay,
I'm gonna grab the keys out of the lock, slip them in my
pocket. And then I am going to cast pass without a trace.
You should say angry russians right now. Well, I don't
have a weapon. I can't do anything else. I can't just keep
trying to punch people. I'm not that good at punching.
You go to cast path with a pass without a trace. And
something interrupts you big surprise. Yep. And you get
knocked down in your vile breaks. No, you feel usually
when you cast it, there's like a magical wave that goes
by on the creatures. That happens. And you think it
worked. But you get the feeling that these two dwarf
warrior folks can still see you.
Because they weren't like, what, what, what? Where did
they go?
Exactly.
Because there's usually get a pretty good reaction when you
go invisible.
It's true. But there is not that reaction.
Okay, so we're still behind the door, but the doors pushed
open a little bit. And where are the two guards? There's
one. Like if I was to exit the door, there would be one
to my right.
The one with the axis to your left, and the one who
tried to body slam Flint, it was knocked more or less
straight back from the door towards the cell opposite you.
So he's, you know, five to 10 feet away.
So the door is swinging open
to your right.
Wait, Carla, is there a way that you can tackle one of them
and rip his armor off? And maybe we can get him out of
like this weird?
Well, I certainly just have to run in like, tackle one of
them, right? Because I got no other option.
You should probably try to disrobe him while you do.
Hey, settle it down over there.
For, you know, for purposes and whatnot.
This seems for purpose.
For science?
Exactly.
For science.
Yeah, this is this is my plan.
I'm going to run out the door to the one god closest to me
without the axe.
The one without the axe, okay.
Well, is he the closest to me?
Yeah, well, yeah.
Okay, yeah, I'm gonna run out and try and like, tackle
him and, you know, give him some punches and whatnot.
And also rip off armor pieces.
Okay, so make a strength check to tackle him.
Okay, well, that is a five plus four.
So that's a nine.
Well, he rolled a five on his saving throw.
So he was he's a little stunned by being, you know,
jarred back by Flint.
So you caught him off guard.
It's good.
So you tackle him.
And are you trying to knock him to the ground?
Are you trying to knock him back?
Well, I guess, yeah, knock him down.
Like, can you describe their armor?
Like, is there something that is?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Like, I think it's a great idea to try and like, get his
like, his mind control powers gone.
Is it tear away?
Like the armor they are wearing is like plate armor that's
made specifically for them.
Um, so it's like a single, single piece on the chest and body
that looks like it does up at the sides and then yet would
come off in a single piece.
Yeah, up over his head.
That seems beyond my ability.
So no obvious like deckle that says that says I'm under control.
It's a stone in the middle.
It's always a stone in the middle.
Smash it.
Totally.
Is there a stone in the middle?
There does not appear to be a stone in the middle there.
There's no flare on the armor.
No, no, no.
They're like, there's, there's like engraved, you know, but
it appears, it appears to be, you know, designed with the
armor.
Kate, what is on his head?
Uh, he has a, a metal armor helmet.
Great.
Well, I'm going to pull that off cause at least any is
easier to punch.
Sure.
Uh, yeah.
So you will say that that's still under the same, same
strength check.
So you are, you are able to, um, pull his head helmet off.
I'm having troubles.
As opposed to his feet.
No, I liked it.
Yeah.
Uh, Kate, great.
And then all of a sudden he's not under control anymore and
he's on our side, right?
Negative.
Once you, damn it's worth a shot.
Once you pull off the helmet, you are able to get a closer
view of his face and you see that his skin looks a little
like gray and like he's got, um, light black veins that
run over his face.
And his eyes are a bit cloudy.
Gross.
Oh no.
Is there some necromancy shit going on here?
These guys are already dead.
Well then I don't feel bad killing them now.
Cause before I was like, Oh, they're under control.
Like it's not them.
And they were all, well now I'm ready to pull out some
big shit.
I'm not rolling dice anymore here.
People punch him in the face.
Punch him hard.
Uh, is my turnover or do I get to punch him again?
I already took the key out of the lock and knocked him
over.
Do those count as my two actions?
Uh, yeah.
Or my two attacks?
Well, yeah.
Cause you took the key out of the lock.
You knocked him down and you took his helmet off.
So I think you're good.
I think you're good.
Yep.
That seems fair.
Thea.
Thea gets up off her ass.
Run, gets herself out of the cell, turns toward to the
left, the guy with the axe.
And I'm just going to fucking throw flaming sphere at him.
I make sure to not throw it at Flint cause then we're
going to take his quarters.
But I make sure that Flint is behind me.
Um, and then I also kind of like shimmy back more because I
don't want to be close to him for obvious reasons.
So he gets three D six.
You get a dex saving throw though.
Yay.
You certainly do.
Uh, that's a 17.
Oh, what?
It's only a 16.
Okay, fine.
You only have to take half the damage.
Okay.
Four.
Well, at least I hit him.
Um, and now it is, uh, ax guards turn and he swings.
So Flint's still more or less in the door.
You ran out into the hall.
Yeah.
He's going to take a swing at you.
Okay.
Uh, that's a 17.
Yep.
Seven damage.
Uh, at some point is glory jam going to help us fight
these guards or what?
Yeah.
All right.
He's being a real useless.
Yeah, he really has been.
He's been sitting at the back, like whittling or some shit.
And we look over and we're like, where the fuck do you get a knife, man?
And then honestly, I forgot.
Glory.
Jim was there.
Me too.
Tell just now.
And I was like, what the heck?
Uh, yeah.
So glory.
Jim is like stunned apparently and gets four, not four turns, but he was like,
he was just kind of watching, seeing what was going on, you know, just
surveying the situation.
Um, and he, uh, he will take his turn.
He enters some sort of berserker rage and gets endless turns, endless
turns, endless turns, but he will, he leaves the cell, um, and tackles
him to the ground and lands a punch for two damage on Axie guy there.
You know, it's not a good weapon.
I'm really learning in this fight.
Punching.
Yeah.
So it's weird how in every movie they solve it with punching
because it's not good.
Once you're only punching each other, it's, it's fair, but yeah.
But have you seen Steve Rogers's arms?
Those punches are going to hurt.
If this is, this is exactly what I was thinking was Captain America,
but then, yeah, I mean, he did like stop a helicopter with the
power of his amazing punches from him.
Probably hurt a lot more.
Those shoulder sockets, man, there's something strong.
Sometimes mine hurt from holding a book.
Which is, which is maybe the nerdiest thing I've ever said in my life.
That was good.
As you said it on a Dumbgeons and Dragons podcast.
Yeah.
Don't worry, we've got your nerd needs covered here.
So, uh, glory gem knocked the ax from the axed guard's hand.
Now it is, uh, his turn and he's going to punch back at glory gem.
A whole lot of punching going on.
Hey, hey, it's me, your dungeon master Russ More.
How's it going?
Good couple of weeks.
Great.
Thank you for joining us for episode 13 of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
This one titled trouble with the police.
We've entered a slight side quest that will be leading into a really
cool crossover episode of bros and dragons coming up in a couple of weeks.
So make sure you hit that subscribe button on both our podcast and theirs.
So you don't miss out on any of the fun.
And believe me, you don't want to miss this episode coming up.
More details about that and our next episode in a brief moment.
Another big thank you for some great feedback through
iTunes these past couple of weeks.
Thank you very, very much for taking such an interest in our show.
We really, truly appreciate it.
Fantasy baller 9000 from the US says I love D&D and don't have
access to anyone to play with these days.
This podcast is really inclusive with the audience and the
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Best D&D podcast that I've listened to.
High praise as there are plenty of D&D podcasts to listen to.
So thank you for coming along on the adventure with us.
Make sure you jump on over to Twitter and follow us at dumb dragon
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I make sure to retweet those every time I, every time I see it.
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Another way you can support the show is to tell a friend, a
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So please send us your thoughts and suggestions for the show.
Now, a special surprise episode 14 will be available May 31st.
What?
Next week?
I know we're jumping ahead a week on this next episode to help lead
into our crossover with Bros and Dragons over on their channel for
their episode 32, which comes out June 1st, we had a lot of fun
recording with them and hope you head over to subscribe to our channel and
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they're both fantastic shows.
I mean, a little bit biased on my own, but Bros and
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You can find both Dumbgeons and Dragons and Bros and Dragons over
on iTunes or wherever you download podcasts.
Let's dive back into the episode.
We'll chat next week.
I can't wait.
Glory Gems is going to take three damage off of that punch and now it's Flint's turn.
Now Flint has two axes.
Get a double up on the axis.
What I want to do as far as like my, I guess it'd be an action turn.
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to pick up one of those
axes and kind of lightly toss it on over to Nularaaais.
So she's got a kick ass weapon.
So she doesn't have to punch anymore.
So should I make some sort of like, you, you can, you can, there's a, yeah,
you can move and just hand it to her.
Okay.
That probably is easier than throwing a sharp weapon.
Not that big a space.
So, yeah, I don't want that one to take a turn.
Yeah, that's fair.
Okay.
So I pick up the axe, take a couple of steps, give it to her.
And I guess that's one of my actions.
Yep.
Uh, so the other action is, uh, I guess I'll swing my axe at one of those
guards on the ground, probably the one that knew Laura was tackled.
Yes, that is a good idea.
Since I'm over there now.
All right.
So I'm going to do some sort of vicious swing at his head.
And that is a crit 20.
Woo.
Amazing.
Crit 20.
Yeah, I heard it.
You just beheaded someone.
One, four, and 12.
Well, four and eight equals 12.
Yeah.
So you do that.
Where do you hit, uh, this, this individual?
Oh, I was swinging pretty much at the neck slash head area.
You and your neck slash head areas.
Yup.
It worked well before.
You do that and you pop, uh, pop his head off.
I'm going to say, cause that, that is enough to do that.
Excellent.
It would be his turn, but it's not his turn anymore.
It's new Laura's turn.
Woohoo.
Uh, and the other guard is fighting with Thea.
Glory jam.
Okay.
Well, I'm going to go ax him.
Cause I also have an ax now.
What are you going to ask him?
So I ax him real good with a 17, 21.
21 will do her.
I'm also aiming for the soft necky bits between his two pieces of armor.
Sure.
Uh, that was a one, so that won't do it.
Okay.
Oh, and then I'll do that again because I have another attack.
Second action.
Uh, not as good.
That is a 10.
10 is not enough.
Okay.
Now it is Donnie's turn.
Yes, it is Donnie's turn.
Donnie got a 14.
14 is not enough.
Okay.
Uh, Thea.
Uh, I'm going to use my flaming sphere, which is already out.
Cause it's the only way I get to have two actions.
Uh, yup.
Okay.
So just so you know, he's on the ground and glory.
Jam is on top of him and Laura is swinging her ax down on top of him.
So I won't flaming sphere, but I will kick him in the testicles.
Solid.
Well, see, I was like, can I blight him?
But if, if they are, they're already all poison, if they are, if they're already
dead, yeah, because it has no effect on undead, um, or constructs, I'm going
to go and I don't know, like, okay, can I walk up and just start like
untying his armor from the sides?
I want to see if like that will have an effect or if they
actually are all dead, right?
Cause if we take off the armor and he's like, Oh man, what happened?
That's like, this has been crazy.
And my skin's all normal now.
Well, then we probably want to try to save these people.
But if he's still all gross, we can just, you know, kill, kill, kill.
So I run up and I do a, probably a sleight of hand check.
Uh, 11 and sleight of hand is 12.
Yeah.
So you, you're able to, uh, untie the ties that are on one side of his armor.
Can I, can I lift that off of him?
Geez, get a room.
Yeah.
You managed to, with the help of Glory Jim, who's pinning his arms down,
um, you managed to pull his armor off and he is still, still ugly and gross.
Well, should we ask him some questions?
Um, I think we should just.
Talking to the elf guy.
Or just murder.
I think just murder.
Cause we got that other dwarf in the other cell.
It hopefully can like shed some light.
Then it is Glory Jim's turn and he's just going to punch face.
Can he snap neck or something?
No, no, with that roll.
No, with that roll.
Uh, no, he doesn't do anything.
So it is his turn and he's going to try and push Glory Jim off and
doesn't succeed in his flint's turn.
All right.
I guess I just stroll over there and decapitate him.
Just another day.
So that's a 17.
17 is good.
And six damage.
Uh, yeah.
So it loses his head and is now dead as well.
I take the keys off of him.
Okay.
I have other keys as well.
I already got the keys from the door.
I just figured like two rings of keys.
That's, that's gotta be a good, I think so.
Okay.
Well, I'll go let out that other, other, uh, gloomy dwarf.
Ostrich.
So yeah, you got Ostrich.
Who's like, he says, yeah, let me out.
That'd be, that'd be great.
That'd be super great.
You guys did good there.
Way to go.
I don't need your accolades to patronize us, but what we do
need is for you to help us get out of here.
But first, where did they take our weapons?
Uh, I really need my sword back.
You guys, it's like the only thing that makes me not die all the time.
Like, uh, he says, uh, well down the hall is where, you know, usually
prisoner prisoner stuff is kept.
Um, there's a small armory type area there where everything gets locked up.
So that would be my first guess.
Okay.
And then real quick, are there anything on these guys though?
Like I'm wondering, are there anything else on these guys that
I could take like a dagger?
I'm weaponless.
Yeah.
They both have, uh, they both have shields, but their axes were their
only weapons that they weren't carrying armor shields and weapons.
Appreciate it.
Okay.
Ostrich real quick, two sentences or less.
What the fuck?
What's going on?
How can we stop this?
Uh, that is a good question.
It probably starts with, with the man himself.
He probably has cast some spell on something that, that we, that
the war warriors are wearing.
I would, that would be my, my first guess because that I, that
was the reason I thought I was unaffected.
It's because I wasn't in, I wasn't in my armor at the
time when everybody else turned.
Were you not in any of your armor or like, you know, could
we piece it together by what you were not wearing?
I was just in, I was just in common clothes.
I was not wearing any, any of, yeah, any of the, any of my finery there.
Has a finery always been so etched looking at the etchings on the armor?
He looks at the armor and says, yeah, yeah, that's just part of,
part of the decor.
You guys are fancy.
Well, we'd like to, we'd like to show off how good we are at armor.
Real good at armor.
Uh, why weren't you in uniform?
Uh, it was my, it was my day off, so I was just out, you know.
You'd think that the wicked elf would have thought about people on off days.
Well, there, there weren't a lot of us on off days, because as I said, the
bulk of our, of our, of our people are off site, so we're only about a
rotation of about seven of us and the other six, uh, as far as I know,
are no longer living.
Um, and as far as, well, the people who aren't in the city, I have no
way of knowing if they're fine.
Cause they're not, not here in the city.
Righty-o.
Well, I think, uh, there's no way he doesn't know what just happened.
Right?
Yeah, yeah, I bet you were communicating with him through them.
So it hurts him when one of them dies.
Oh, I hope so.
Hope his neck's real sore right now.
So let's, uh, let's skedaddle.
Let's, let's, again, I don't want us to die to get my sword, but
I really do want my sword back.
Oh, I would like my Ospo back.
Yeah.
Like these are, this is a real important stuff.
So let's, uh, head to the armory or wherever he thinks they took our stuff.
Lost and found.
Yeah, exactly.
The prison lost and found.
Which, uh, order and who's opening doors and what's happening.
I'm going last.
I will go first.
Oh, I was going to make the other dwarf go first, but cause I don't care.
He sees get awestruck.
Okay.
Cause we don't know why he was in prison.
Like, he also knows where everything is.
So he should probably actually lead the way.
He knows the way around.
I'll be right next to him though.
Okay.
I can go after that.
Cause I have the other weapon.
I'll be bringing up the rear.
So glory jam is going before you.
Okay.
So you unlock, uh, you're able to unlock the door.
Flint and Osric look out into the hall and it looks clear.
So you go out and he goes off to the left and you're all following behind.
Um, and you see there's a few doors that you pass.
All of them are closed and he comes up to one on the right side of the hallway.
Um, and, uh, he goes to try the door and it is locked.
And he says, yeah, I need to unlock that.
You want to hand those over if you want to give it a try.
I toss him the keys and he reaches down and unlocks the door.
Um, and it opens and it appears that your, um, your weapons are in this room.
We've solved the weapons puzzle.
Uh, so you go in and you grab your stuff.
And I take the keys back from him.
Sure.
Are there extra weapons for him as well?
Uh, no glory jam would have had weapons.
There are some extra weapons for, so that everybody is armed and you have
weapons now is I already forget everyone.
His name is Prim's Bane in this building.
Do you think, um, as far as I know, he is, he is on site here.
Um, at least he was when I was, when I, when I was imprisoned,
which wasn't that long ago.
Let's find him.
My guess is he's going to be in one of the upper levels.
Go check those out.
Okey dokey.
Let's do it.
He peeks back through the door and again, it looks clear.
Are you going in the same order, different order?
I'm happy with same order.
If everyone else.
I'll sneak myself more into the middle.
So I'm not so glory jam at the back in case they come from behind.
Yeah.
He passes through the door and then you guys run quickly behind him.
But as Flint you run through, there is a bright light that shines as
you pass through this door and, uh, new Laura and Thea, you see this
light as you pass through the door as well.
Um, and you step out into a hall that doesn't look the same as the
hall that you were in portal.
Sweet.
I mean, not, it's definitely going to be bad, but sweet.
You three are separated from glory gem and Osric.
They're not there, but we're still together.
Right.
But you guys are still together dream team and coming up, you
will find yourselves in a hall.
It is a dark hallway.
You were in, when you were in the, on the prison level, uh, you felt you
were, uh, you were at or above ground level, um, there were some windows,
but now it is dark.
There are a couple of torches.
Some things are, there is a glowing nature about the halls, almost
like a bioluminescence of sorts.
So you've got a, a seemingly dead end at the one in there.
And then it, it goes straight down.
This is interesting.
I guess that's the way we go.
When we look behind us, the doors, it's just a, a stone wall.
It is just a stone wall.
Is there, can we see anything else?
Can I do a perception check?
You can.
Um, in the, in the area you are, it is just, it is just stone walls.
Okay.
Forward march.
I guess.
Yeah.
I mean, let's, let's go forward.
You proceed down the hall and, uh, you come at the end there to a, a locked door.
Is this Radio Zork?
I lick the door.
I wait for other adventurers to arrive and try their key.
Do we still have our ring of keys?
You do have your ring of keys.
We've got two.
We both have one.
I wonder if we have the same ring.
So let's try our keys.
Who is trying keys?
Um, I'll, I'll stick it in first.
There it is.
Make a perception check first.
All of us.
Uh, yeah.
All of you can make it.
Okay.
I rolled a 10.
12 for me.
You, um, go to stick the key in, but Flint grabs your arm and Flint, you see that
the lock is, has a trap set on it.
So he stops you from doing that.
Thanks, buddy.
No prob.
I guess we live here now.
Well, can I maybe, can we back up and I can shoot an arrow at it and try to
trip the lock and see what happens like from around the corner?
Thieves tools.
Is there a way to like disarm a trap?
I don't have it written down anywhere, but I remember when we chose special
skills, somebody picked up thieves.
I just didn't write it down.
Yeah.
So the thing about lock traps, which you know, is if you use an
incorrect key or you try to force the, force the lock without using
a proficient thieves tool check, you will set the trap off and
then whatever the trap is designed to do, it will happen.
Okay.
But you can certainly try a thieves tool deck check.
Okay.
Well, I mean, yeah, I don't think we have another option.
So I don't think we do.
God, I got a 17 plus whatever.
Yeah.
I got an 18.
Yay.
Thea's like bench in front of it.
She's got this little like eyepiece, like magnifying special thing.
And I'm, and I'm looking at it and I, and I, is this me stopping the trap?
Like, did I, you are disarming the trap.
Oh, okay.
And I see that there are a series of like Lynch pins perfectly
formed to the shape that the key is supposed to be.
And so what I do is I carefully remove each of the pins successfully
disarming the trap.
You also remove a, what appears to be a poison tipped needle, which looks
like it was set to shoot out into your hand as you are trying to open this lock.
Oh goodness.
But you have successfully done that and unlocked the door.
Thea, you open the door and inside you see the same stone floors and walls,
bloodstained from some time ago, as it looks quite dried on.
And in the center of this room, there is a statue of the deity Loth, the
goddess of spiders and lies standing atop a fountain.
As you step into the room, three zombies begin shambling out from behind
this statue, groaning and making their way towards you.
Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of Incompetech.Filmmusic.io.
If they are, if they're already dead, because it has no effect on undead or
constructs, and then below that it said moves up Wendy, a personal slut.
I'm not sure why it says that.
What?
I'm reading the description I have under blight and it says like, blah, blah,
blah, blah, failed slave spell has no effect on undead or constructs.
And then right below that, it says moves up Wendy, a personal slut.
I don't know why.
I think you were voice memo putting those in.
Moves up Wendy, a personal slut.
Anyway, so.
Personal slut?
Slut.
Yeah, I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
So I guess I'm just going to like this, this guy's pinned, right?
He's.
So wait, wait, wait, is moves up Wendy, a personal slut, now the
name of the episode, what's happening?
I think it might be.
Wendy's going to show up as another character.
You're going to find out that this guard's name was Wendy.
Yeah.
And now our personal slut, apparently.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.